LW71  Minimizing Workplace Conflict

MEMORABLE PRESENTERS REMEMBER – that most presentations simply are too long, have too many bullet points, too much content and many have over 15-20 key messages … which ones should I remember?

When people work together in groups, there are bound to be occasions when they disagree and conflicts arise.  Whether these disagreements become full-blown feuds or instead fuel creative problem solving is, in large part, up to the person in charge, YOU !

• Conflict is not always bad.  It often illuminates a problem, and leads to a solution.  It can encourage people to get more involved in work processes and projects. You can do a lot to ensure that your employees deal with disagreements in proactive, productive ways by knowing when and how to intervene — and when to let things be.  

It Is Usually Better To Stop Conflict Before It Starts 

1. Do you have an open communication style, or are you one of these people who avoid conflict [resentment builds if you avoid the issue], or, do you do a ‘ram-down,’ [resentment builds also].  “Do it my way.”  A starting point in minimizing conflict is your own self-assessment, and recognition that perhaps you need to change your communication style, or the way in which you deal with conflict.
2. Bring issues out in the open before they become problems.
3. Be aware of triggers, and respond to them when you first notice them.
4. Understand how you fit into the team.  Take an interest in your co-workers daily duties, especially with overlaps in your work.  [the three typical causes of conflict are :: the job itself, the way the work gets done, and personality differences].  Keep lines of communication open with the people you do business with.
5. Find out exactly what is expected of you.  Pay attention during training sessions, ask a question when something is unclear, and be attentive and participatory during performance evaluations.
6. Adhere to policies and procedures as you complete your work.  When everyone follows the same guidelines, there is less conflict.  If policies are wrong, change them.No one is born knowing how to resolve conflicts.  Conflict resolution is a set of skills that anyone can learn.  However, there are two important ones:: Active Listening and Conflict De-escalation skills. 

Active Listening 

Active listening is a valuable skill for resolving conflicts because it enables you to demonstrate that you understand what another person is saying, and how he or she may be feeling about it.   

Active listening means restating, in your own words, what the other person has said.  It is a way of checking whether your understanding is correct.  It also demonstrates that you are interested and concerned.  

Active listening responses have two components: (1) naming the feeling that the other person is conveying, and (2) perhaps stating the reason for the feeling. 

Active-listening statements include:

“Sounds like you are upset about what happened at work?”

“You are annoyed by my lateness, aren’t you?”

“You sound really stumped about how to solve this problem?”

“It makes you angry when you find errors on Joe’s paperwork.”

 “I get the feeling you're awfully busy right now?” 

Actively listening is not the same as being in agreement.  It is only a way of demonstrating that you intend to hear, and understand another’s point of view.  Having heard it, you may still disagree. 

Conflict De-escalation 

Everyone has been in an argument that has escalated.  Before you know it, it’s blown out of proportion, and the real issue is lost sight of.  Think for a moment about some actions that will help you deescalate a conflict.  In your experience, what actions put a stop to the defend/attack spiral? ·         

• Stick with “I” statements; avoid “you” statements.·         
• Avoid name-calling and put-downs (“A reasonable person could see that...”).·         
• Soften your tone.·         
• Take a time-out (“Let’s take a break and cool down”).·         
• Acknowledge the other person’s point of view (agreement is not necessary).·         
• Avoid defensive or hostile body language (rolling eyes, sighing, crossing arms in front of body, tapping foot).·         
• Be specific and factual; avoid generalities.·         
• Teach people conflict-resolution skills, and expect they will use them.

Deal With Conflict Proactively 

Informal counseling provides managers and supervisors with an initial effective means of addressing and managing conflict..  This may take the form of meetings, negotiation/mediation sessions, or other dispute-resolution processes.  

Generally speaking, managers who successfully manage conflicts in their organizations will experience higher rates of engagement and productivity, than managers who fail to do so.   

Old-fashioned civility can also bring a sense of peace and harmony to an otherwise stressful workplace.  A more civil workplace environment means a better quality of life for employees.  

Higher quality of life for your employees means higher-quality work, which is indeed an incentive to all organizations to foster such a culture.

When we are experiencing conflict we tend to shift the blame from ourselves onto other people – but we’re just as much a part of the dynamic as they are.  Why not try asking yourself this question next time you are experiencing conflict – “Do I do the same thing that I see them doing”?  -or- How did I contribute to the conflict?  

At first you might think to yourself, ‘I don’t do that’ – but I encourage you to take a deeper look.  You may just discover that you have the same trait as them, in your own form.  Others can be a direct reflection of you. 

Here are some practical step-by-step tips for dealing with employee spats in the workplace:  ·         

• Recognize and praise accomplishment.  If employees feel valued and appreciated for the work they do, they are less likely to jockey for position or start fights.       
• Discourage gossip, and don’t put people in the position of spying or reporting on each other.  Create consistent performance review procedures that apply to everyone equally.       
• Make sure expectations are realistic, and consistent with job descriptions.         
• Identify the problem.  Make sure everyone involved knows exactly what the issue is, and why they are debating.  Talk it out until everyone agrees that there is a problem, and understands what the key issues are.        
• Identify the ideal end result, from each party’s point of view.  It might surprise everyone to discover that their visions are not so far apart after all.          
• Allow every person involved to clarify his or her perspective and opinions about the problem.  Make sure everyone has an opportunity to express an opinion.  If necessary, establish a time limit (say, five minutes per person), and make sure each person sticks to the limit while stating his or her case.  It is your responsibility to make sure all participants feel safe and supported.      
• Repeat what the other party says so you can confirm for yourself that you accurately heard from the message, and reassure the person that you are indeed paying attention.  Ask the person to repeat your statements as well.     
• Clarify statements as needed.  Ask open-ended questions of the other party if you seek additional information.  Patiently answer any questions asked of you.     
• Identify the specific problem and try to keep the conversation focused on that.  Attacking each other is counterproductive. 

• Stay calm, even if the discussion becomes heated.  Keeping an even keel often disarms upset others and leads them to become more calm and rational, as well.       
• Recognize where you and the other party agree, and where you disagree.  Focus on the areas of disagreement, and seek a compromise.  Is there some part of the issue on which everyone agrees?  If not, try to identify long-term goals that mean something to everyone, and start from there.      
• Offer thanks to the person for taking the time to work through the issue, and agreeing to move forward in a positive way.        
• Figure out what can realistically be done to achieve each individual’s goals.  If action is taken, how will this affect other projects and objectives?  Will the end result be worth the time and energy spent?  If the attempt fails, what’s the worst that can happen?        
• Seek the help of a mediator if the conflict continues or arises again.  A more senior supervisor or peer is a good person to call upon, since he/she is familiar with the people involved, as well as the job duties and environment of the office. 

When conflicts are handled well, there is a positive effect on work relationships.  

When they are not, these factors can deteriorate.  Productivity and the free expression of ideas are also impacted.  

Next time you’re experiencing conflict try using some of these techniques to resolve the situation in a positive way.

Have a conflict-reduced life !  

Denis Orme

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