LW54  Embrace two perspectives,
for greater business success

MEMORABLE WOMEN PRESENTERS REMEMBER to turn up the volume, lower the pitch and maintain steady eye contact.  They remember also to avoid the intonation rise at the end of a sentence, or what Jerry Seinfeld termed “up-talking.”  Up-talkers often appear uncertain about what they are saying, thus losing all authority and credibility.
Finally, they avoid self put-downs, unwarranted apologies, excuses.  It has to do with confidence.  A largely male audience will value your confidence and conviction above all else.

AS A MEMORABLE WOMAN PRESENTER ensure you are tuned into both male and female communication styles.

and now on to Leading Ways ...........

Embrace two perspectives,
for greater business success

Men and women have different communication and leadership styles.  Well there is no surprise there.  Does different mean better?  Well yes, and no.

There are strengths and weaknesses in each of the different communication and leadership styles, and cross gender boundaries.

Communication is not just about the words we use, and the words we use account for only 7% of what people remember.  A huge 55% relates to body language, and this is a subject for another day.  The remainder is in how we use our voice 38%, also the subject for another day.

Both genders have strengths in their communication styles.

For women::

• They are more adept at reading body language.
• Good listening skills
• Effective empathy, whereas men tend to tough it out.

For men their strengths include ::

• Physical bearing (stronger body language).
• Direct to the point discussions.
• Use of body language to signal power.

Mens’ communication weaknesses include ::

• Being too blunt or direct.  [this article being perhaps a good example bullet-point style, whereas a woman perhaps would have had more of a narrative style.]
• Insensitive to the recipient’s reactions either in a one-on-one        conversation, or group presentation.
• Too forceful with their opinions.  The “ram-down” approach.

Weaknesses in female communication styles include ::

• From time-to-time being too emotional.
• Lack of focus as the conversation assumes its own life.
• Sometimes not being either assertive enough, or a failure to be    authoritative.

Recognition of these differences can help us in the workplace.  Women can excel in collaborative environments where listening skills, reading body language and empathy are needed.

Where you need a take-charge person where decisiveness and urgency are paramount, and as a generalization a man is likely to step in more readily.

Remember, it is easy to misinterpret a woman’s collaborative style as indecisive, and a man’s directness can be seen as either blunt, or worse, pure callousness.

“Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.” - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Carol Goman [The non-verbal advantage : Secrets and Science of Body Language at work] has some observations I would like to share.

• Women are viewed as lacking authority when they try to avoid confrontation and conflict.  This is not necessarily the case as they may be being collaborative.
• Male body language tends to emphasize stature and confidence.  They may also be sending signals of indifference or smugness more than women do.
• A man’s ability to keep his emotions in check and be poker faced is seen as an advantage in business.  [As we have seen though in New Zealand this toughing it out probably has resulted in one of the highest suicide rates in the world.]
• Because women are more effective at reading people sometimes they may become anxious if they cannot ‘read’ a man.
• Because women are better at reading people and situations use them more where critical negotiations or discussions are in play.
• Because women tend to be collaborative they talk out loud in order to arrive at solutions, whereas men do it internally. Because of this woman may be seen as being unsure or indecisive.
• When a man nods he is agreeing, when a woman nods she is listening.
• For a woman strong eye contact and visually reacting to what is being said is a strength, whereas men use minimal eye contact and offer very little nonverbal feedback.
• Women sound more emotional because they use 5 voice tones, compared to men who not only speak deeper but use only 3 voice tones.
• When a woman raises an emotional issue, often she is only looking for the other person to just listen.  Men, we may need to get out of the problem solving mode.  

When it's effective, conversation can build good relationships, and good relationships are the basis of success.

New skills can enhance relationships, but also recognize that skill-sets differ in different regions and different cultures.

Without understanding that conversation styles differ according to culture, language, region, and gender, we will tend to judge negatively those whose styles differ from our own.

If our own culturally-induced style is to be soft-spoken and modest, we will feel put off by those whose style is loud. The mis-match of their style and our own makes us feel uncomfortable. 

We usually will judge according to what we perceive to be the personality - not the style. (For example, being "pushy," or "domineering," or "self-centered.")

Conversation is like a dance, taking turns in leading and following.

To do a dance well, we must learn its steps through practice.

As we become flexible and able to adapt to the styles of others, our relationship satisfaction will increase.  And, after all, "happiness is relational."

So how can we use this information?

The trick is to know when your predominant communication style [4 styles – Visual, auditory, digital and kinaesthetic] can be effective, or when it will absolutely be detrimental to the relationship.  Do you understand yours? 

When you understand your own style and also the advantages of using the style of the opposite gender in specific situations you can be more effective.

This knowledge is powerful ::

• When should I change my communication style because of the situation, or the communication styles of those I am working with?
• When will it be appropriate to use one of the communication styles by involving a person of the opposite gender with my team?
•  When should I change my leadership style because of the situation, or the personalities those I am working with?
• When will it be appropriate to  change leadership  by involving a person of the opposite gender with my team?

 

Trust, Communication and Influence are in my opinion the three most important elements of effective leadership.  Effective communication and leadership are pivotal to success in your role.

“If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.” - Margaret Thatcher

 

Now we know more about women’s leadership strengths, we can compare their styles with those of men.

• Women managers tend to see themselves at the “center” of things.
• Men see themselves at the top.
• Women see relationships as a priority and make an effort to be available to subordinates.
• Men do not make relationships their main priority.
• Women stress the important of sharing information.
• Men are collectors of information.
• Women work at a steady pace, scheduling breaks throughout the day
• Men work at a frantic, unrelenting pace with no breaks.
• Women make time with family a priority and are more understanding of subordinates who do likewise.
• Men perceive their homes as ‘branch offices’ and spend less time with their family than female counterparts.

“Electric communication will never be a substitute for the face of someone who with their soul encourages another person to be brave and true.” Charles Dickens

How can we use this information about communication and leadership styles?

We now have a greater awareness of both the communication and leadership styles of both genders.

From this knowledge, and by reading situations we will be better able to determine which communication and leadership style will be effective in specific, perhaps more critical situations.

By having this knowledge, and by using your judgment in it’s application you too can be a more effective leader across generations, genders and cultures.

Have a great week !

Best wishes

Denis Orme
027-472-8610

For my complete article ----please contact denis.orme@yahoo.com