LEADING WAYS NEWSLETTER #35

Speaker Tip of the Month

MEMORABLE PRESENTERS USE STORIES

“The universe is made of stories, not atoms.    – Muriel Rukeyser

Start by knowing your reason for using a story.  It may be to illustrate a point, entertain, or to build common ground with your audience.

Ensure that every story has a beginning, middle and end, or as I would say a Premise, Problem and Payoff.  Without all three your listeners feel as though you are leaving something incomplete.

At a networking event recently I was reminded as to how common it is for people to forget names, and yet  :: “A person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”  -- Dale Carnegie

Remembering names immediately establishes you as someone who listens and someone who cares.  Remember names by ::

• Giving full attention.
• Make a conscious effort to listen and remember
• Introduce yourself first so you can then give full attention.
• Focus on  the physical so you form a detailed impression
• Repeat the name
• Silently to yourself
• Say the name within 20 seconds to confirm it is correct
• Use the name again mid conversation
• Repeat the name when saying goodbye.
• Write it down immediately or make a note of the conversation or physical characteristics on their  business card.
• Make an association
• Connect the name with a famous person or image
• Make a rhyme … perhaps associated with a physical characteristic of the person
• Picture the name written in your favourite color on that person’s forehead.
• Imagine writing the name (small finger movements) while saying the name silently.

It takes practice to remember names, but the rewards are great by establishing your credibility.

And now on to Leading Ways   ::   Giving and receiving feedback.  You will recall that last month we focussed on Giving Feedback.

Feedback provides the opportunity for people to be the best they want to be.

Feedback is also a way to let people know how effective they are in what they are trying to accomplish, or how they affect you.  It also provides a way for people to learn how they affect the world around them, and it helps us to become more effective.  If we know how other people see us, we can overcome problems in our behaviour or communication.

Giving and receiving feedback are skills that can be learned and once practiced, are extremely useful.  Business presentation and public speaking skills [the subject for another time] are also important for supervisors and managers.  There are two sides to feedback: giving it, and receiving it. …. This month we are focussing on ::

RECEIVING FEEDBACK

Some people look at feedback as criticism and don't want to hear it.  Others see it as a confirmation of their low self-worth.  Others may only want to hear praise, and not be open to suggestions for improvement.

I believe it comes down to whether you believe feedback will harm you or benefit you.  

We all have the option to refuse feedback, but are more likely to accept it if it is given in a respectful and supportive manner.

Feedback is a two-way conversation with the person receiving the feedback needing time to reflect and consider the information being shared.  Some suggestions on how to receive feedback include:

• Listen carefully to what the giver has to say and don’t interrupt.   Think about the source – “Is the person giving me the feedback a good role model, and are they trying to help me?”
• Make an effort not to be defensive.  Keep an open mind.
• To help you understand politely seek examples of the behaviour at issue.
• Use your own words to summarise what you understand the giver of the feedback to be saying. This should prevent misunderstandings.
• It is okay to share your feelings about the feedback, without being defensive.
• You decide what you should take from the feedback and how perhaps you should modify or change your behaviour. This may mean giving yourself some time to think about what you heard.
• Devote your energy to finding areas for improvement [rather than disputing observations] made by someone who is trying to be helpful.
• And of course if you are receiving praise don’t just shrug it off “Oh, it was nothing” accept the praise, after all you deserve it.

When you think of feedback words like, Direct, Specific, Supportive, Considerate, and Helpful should immediately spring to mind, with the goal in feedback being co-operation, and  not confrontation.

Feedback is always meant to be positive.  The goal is to improve the current situation or performance – the goal is never to criticize or offend.

 
Feedback is a must for people who want to have honest relationships.  A powerful and important means for communication.  Feedback connects us, and our behaviour, to the world around us. …. Often I refer to it as having an “unreasonable friend.”

Remember  ::   Motivation comes from within  ::: guide people to their, not your solutions; and success!

• If the purpose of the feedback session is coaching people to their success it becomes ::    their plans… their goals… their timelines…. Be the “unreasonable friend” who ignites their passion.

Have a great week.

Kind regards

Denis Orme

027-472-8610